Grief and Loss
Losing a child to miscarriage or stillbirth is an emotionally devastating experience. You will never forget your baby, but pregnancy loss is probably more common than you think. Take the time to learn about miscarriage, grief, and talk to people that understand what you're going through. Here, we provide you with a general overview and some excellent resources for recovery.
Miscarriage, Stillbirth, Grief, and Loss
Having a miscarriage or stillbirth is heartbreaking for a woman and her family. The anxieties, joys, and challenges of raising a baby are lost, leaving a void that should not be ignored. Few women realize that miscarriage is a relatively common phenomenon, occurring in about 15 percent of pregnancies. Miscarriage is most often not the result of anything that the mother-to-be did wrong, and does not negate the ability to have a healthy baby in the future. In fact, most pregnancies that follow a miscarriage are successful.
Miscarriage, also known as pregnancy loss and spontaneous abortion, occurs before the 20th week of pregnancy, but generally occurs within the first 13 weeks (first trimester). According to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG), most miscarriages occurring in the first trimester are the result of chromosomal abnormalities that develop as the fertilized egg, or embryo, divides and grows.
There are many causes of miscarriage. Always speak with your doctor about any medical problems you may have. Your physician should be able to explain possible complications and concerns that may arise.
Some symptoms of miscarriage are obvious, including heavy vaginal bleeding, and fluid or tissue passing from the vagina. Cramping, abdominal and back pain, and spotting are also symptoms of miscarriage, but do not necessarily indicate that a miscarriage is imminent. This is also known as threatened abortion. Pregnant women experiencing any of these symptoms should contact their doctor immediately.
Treatment options vary depending on when the miscarriage occurs. Some women with a dilated cervix or that experience heavy bleeding will require a surgical procedure known as dilatation and curettage (D&C) in which the uterus is cleared of remaining fetal tissue and placenta. If an ultrasound determines you have had a miscarriage before any symptoms become apparent, you may be given the option to let the miscarriage progress naturally or to take a medication to expedite the process.
Stillbirth occurs when a baby dies in the womb after the 20th week, and includes deaths resulting from complications during labor. Problems with the placenta, bacterial infections, and physical abnormalities are among the most common causes of stillbirth. Women who notice a decrease in kicking or movement, especially during the third trimester, should immediately contact their doctor. If stillbirth is diagnosed, the fetus can be removed via cesarean section or by induced labor.
While physical recovery from miscarriage only takes a few hours (with a regular menstrual cycle returning after four to six weeks), emotional recovery is likely to take significantly longer. Experts recommend keeping a journal, creating memories of your baby, and seeking out a support group or a therapist. Take things at your own pace, talk with your partner, and take care of your body. You will never forget your baby, but understanding the nature of miscarriage and stillbirth is essential to the healing process.
For more information and resources relating to miscarriage, stillbirth, grief, and loss, consult your doctor.
